January 15 Play: DINNER WITH THE DEVIL

#15: DINNER WITH THE DEVIL - by Ed Valentine
© January 15, 2010 * ed@edvalentine.com

LIGHTS UP ON A MAN AT A TABLE WITH THE DEVIL. DEVIL’s face is very glossy red, his horns are sharp. Perhaps he’s in evening clothes – a smoking jacket. It’s literally smoking: curls of smoke curl out of the jacket. He has a glass filled with ice and bourbon. His dinner companion, the MAN, is very obese. He digs into a heaping plate of food. He has a glass of beer.

DEVIL: You’re very kind to come over. I really needed someone to talk to.

MAN: (ALWAYS EATING) This canapé is delicious, have you tried the duck?

DEVIL: It’s been hard for me lately.

MAN: You always serve the best food.

DEVIL: The old paradigms just aren’t WORKING for me, I can’t seem to get MOTIVATED. Sure, I do what I do. What I’ve always done. And I’m good at it. Really good at it.

MAN: Yes you are. Olives?

DEVIL: No, thanks. So then why, why is none of it satisfying? Why don’t I take pleasure in anything? I remember the old days, when -

MAN: Look. Look, how long have we known each other?

DEVIL: All your life.

MAN: So take it from me – and really, I mean this from my heart – nothing has changed.

DEVIL: But.

MAN: Nothing has changed.

DEVIL: But.

MAN: Are you listening? Nothing has changed. You’re just thinking about it more.

DEVIL: And.

MAN: Talk talk talk talk talk! What good is talk? Just DO something, for heaven’s sake, and don’t THINK about it. Action is all. ACTION.
(FINISHES ONE LAST MORSEL. WIPES HIS MOUTH.)
Now, what’s for dessert?

DEVIL: You’re right. And gluttony is a sin, bitch.
(DEVIL snaps his fingers. Flames. Many long red-silk-gloved HANDS spring up from beneath the table and drag the MAN, screaming, under.)
He’s right. I DO feel better.
(DEVIL holds his own glass and takes the glass his dinner companion left behind. Clinks ‘em together in a toast.)
To me?  To me.

(He drinks from one glass. The HANDS come up and caress him. His jacket smokes. Lights fade.)

END OF PLAY.