March 21 Play: FIFTEEN CLOWNS

X: FIFTEEN CLOWNS - by Ed Valentine
© March 21, 2010 * ed@edvalentine.com

LIGHTS UP: A circus tent, or a suggestion thereof. 15 Clowns in a semicircle.

ALL: Whodunnit? Whodunnit?

1: One went by poison.

2: One went by hanging.

3: One went in a crash in a teeny tiny car.

4: One was found with a rubber chicken stuffed down his throat.

5: One’s makeup was tainted. It wasn’t an accident.

6: One was fired from a canon. BOOM! Right into a wall.

7: One got a pie in the face. Under the banana crème: chopped glass.

8: They turned a firehose at one. Out spewed acid.

9: The lion got loose.

10: A hatchet in the head.

11: They found him dangling from the trapeze. An aneurysm? I don’t think so.

12: Thumbtacks in his candy.

13: Exploding buttons.

14: A scorpion nest in the shoes. Lotta room in those shoes!

(One left. Lights change on all the dead Clowns. Clown 15 looks nervous.)

THE 14 DEAD CLOWNS: Well? Well well well well,
Well well
Well?

15: There’s no one left. No one left but me.

13: That means you must be the murderer.

15: Maybe I am. But maybe I’m not!

13: I guess time will tell.

15: (Sighs) It’s hard to be a clown these days. You have no idea.

(Doorbell rings.)

OFFSTAGE VOICE: Delivery!

(From the edge of the stage by the curtain, a deliveryman’s HAND emerges carrying flowers and a package. The package smokes: a bomb.)

15: This is it then. My dying day.

Ticking sound up. Suddenly stops. 15 holds his breath, waiting for the explosion.

Sudden blackout.


END OF PLAY.