March 14 Play: MEN ON THE MOON

X: MEN ON THE MOON - by Ed Valentine
© March 14, 2010 * ed@edvalentine.com

LIGHTS UP: 2 ASTRONAUTS on the Moon.

1: One small step for man. One giant leap for –

(A MOONMAN appears.)

MOONMAN: Go home! We don’t want you here!

1: Should we gas him?

2: How do you know it’s a him?

1: That hardly seems relevant right now.

MOONMAN: I said, GO HOME! We don’t want your kind. You are not welcome. Not welcome!

-

1: I say we gas ‘em.

2: Wait.

1: What?

2: Wait! She’s beautiful!

(2 and MOONMAN look at each other. 2 produces a blooming rose in a long glass tube.)

1: You brought roses?

2: I was going to plant them here.

1: Well, this is disgusting! I’m outta here.

(1 gets in his spaceship and blasts off.)

MOONMAN: I’m sorry about your friend. Not for my sake, for yours.

2: Aw, that’s ok. I’m not sorry. Not sorry at all.

MOONMAN: But you won’t be lonely. Wait till you meet my family!

2: Your family?

MOONMAN: They’re going to find you just delicious. Delicious.

(MANY OTHER ALIENS come out of nowhere, thousands of them, out of craters and caves and from under the moonsoil and everywhere. All sorts of places. They hold eating utensils.)

2: Wait. Wait. Wait.

(They advance.)

BLACKOUT. END OF PLAY.