A Field.
HE is baling hay.
A car door slams, off. A WOMAN enters, stands nearby. Middle aged, flowered dress. She has a camera.
HE keeps working. In time, SHE snaps a photo.
HE
You get my good side?
SHE
Wasn't looking at you.
I came for the field.
HE
Just a field.
SHE
-
HE
Too many folks, that's their problem.
They can't see the people for the field.
SHE
That so?
HE
Sure. Here, you goa young buck. Handsome guy. Some say.
SHE
Do they.
HE
Browned by the sun.
Made strong by work,
hard work. Heavy work.
Look good in the pages of a magazine,
or in a Hollywood movie.
You City Folk, you come here,
think we're hicks.
(HE keeps baling.)
I'm no hick, Miss.
(HE keeps baling.)
I got stories.
-
SHE
You know.
-
I'm no City Girl.
Born a mile from here.
Lived on this land till I was.
Thirteen.
-
Something happened here.
I mean.
Here. In the field.
(HE stops baling.)
HE
When.
SHE
I was twelve.
-
Sometimes I think I'll always be twelve.
I got stories too.
-
HE
Alright then, Miss.
I'll let you be.
SHE
Thanks.
(She turns to go. Hesitates. Turns back.)
Hey.
HE
?
SHE
Here.
She raises her camera.
He poses. Loud SNAP adn flash.
The photo is bright and the light burns,
haloing him and the scene in gold for a moment.
In the lights,
he's beautiful.
The camera flash fades. Back to normal lights.
In this light, the field is drab.
HE
Thanks.
SHE
Thank you.
They stand.
Lights fade.
End of play.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Olympic Mascot Fail
I love the Olympics. I mean, I LOVE the Olympics. I cheer. I get choked up. I harangue everyone who'll listen about triple axles and curling and athletes who I would otherwise never hear of.
And though I'm admittedly more of a Winter 'lympics fan, I do love me some Summer Games. And that's why I'm pretty alarmed... at THIS:
I'm even more alarmed than I was at THIS. (I won't bring up Lisa Simpson vis a vis this logo. Google it if you need to.)
Wenlock and Mandeville, you are an Olympic Fail.
And though I'm admittedly more of a Winter 'lympics fan, I do love me some Summer Games. And that's why I'm pretty alarmed... at THIS:
I'm even more alarmed than I was at THIS. (I won't bring up Lisa Simpson vis a vis this logo. Google it if you need to.)
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Testing, testing....
Just checking something out.... Posting from a new source. More to come later....
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
May 12 Play: MAMOOT
PLAY #?: MAMOOT - by Ed Valentine
© May 12, 2010 * ed@edvalentine.com
LIGHTS UP: It’s SeaWorld – or a SeaWorld type of place. A trainer (F) stands at the edge of a pool. She has a bucket. The water in the pool is dark and black. A maintenance man stands at the back.
TRAINER:
Here, Mamoot.
Here you go!
Feeding time.
Come and get it.
Mamoot?
Mamoot?
Momoot.
She leans over the water.
MAINTENANCE MAN
He dead?
TRAINER
You SCARED me!
MAINTENANCE MAN
Sorry lady.
TRAINER
I didn’t know you were there!
MAINTENANCE MAN
Sorry.
TRAINER
I thought I was all alone.
-
Except for him, I mean.
MAINTENANCE MAN
Him?
TRAINER
Mamoot.
MAINTENANCE MAN
Maybe you are all alone.
TRAINER
I don’t know.
Sometimes, some mornings I come out here
and there’s nothing there in the water.
You’d swear there was nothing there.
MAINTENANCE MAN
He sleeping?
TRAINER
Waiting.
MAINTENANCE MAN
Creepy.
TRAINER
Waiting for me.
MAINTENANCE MAN
Someday he
Will
be dead.
TRAINER
Or I will.
MAINTENANCE MAN
How long do they live?
TRAINER
No one knows.
MAINTENANCE MAN
A long time?
TRAINER
A Long long.
Long.
Time.
Longer than we know.
MAINTENANCE MAN
He has time then.
TRAINER
Time?
MAINTENANCE MAN
Time to wait.
TRAINER
I guess he does.
Well -
Something swims back and forth in the pool.
It is not a whale.
They both start.
MAINTENANCE MAN
Jesus.
TRAINER
There.
MAINTENANCE MAN
That how it happens every morning?
TRAINER
Pretty much.
He likes to surprise me.
MAINTENANCE MAN
I wouldn’t get in the water with that.
TRAINER
Sometimes I have to.
MAINTENANCE MAN
How is that?
TRAINER
(shrugs.)
MAINTENANCE MAN
Good luck, then. I better get on with my day.
TRAINER
Me too.
(She holds out a fish over the water, reaching out a little too far. Sing-song and nervous:)
Here you go, Mamoot.
Mamoot.
Mamoot.
The thing swims. She holds the fish. The Man does not go.
Lights fade.
END OF PLAY.
© May 12, 2010 * ed@edvalentine.com
LIGHTS UP: It’s SeaWorld – or a SeaWorld type of place. A trainer (F) stands at the edge of a pool. She has a bucket. The water in the pool is dark and black. A maintenance man stands at the back.
TRAINER:
Here, Mamoot.
Here you go!
Feeding time.
Come and get it.
Mamoot?
Mamoot?
Momoot.
She leans over the water.
MAINTENANCE MAN
He dead?
TRAINER
You SCARED me!
MAINTENANCE MAN
Sorry lady.
TRAINER
I didn’t know you were there!
MAINTENANCE MAN
Sorry.
TRAINER
I thought I was all alone.
-
Except for him, I mean.
MAINTENANCE MAN
Him?
TRAINER
Mamoot.
MAINTENANCE MAN
Maybe you are all alone.
TRAINER
I don’t know.
Sometimes, some mornings I come out here
and there’s nothing there in the water.
You’d swear there was nothing there.
MAINTENANCE MAN
He sleeping?
TRAINER
Waiting.
MAINTENANCE MAN
Creepy.
TRAINER
Waiting for me.
MAINTENANCE MAN
Someday he
Will
be dead.
TRAINER
Or I will.
MAINTENANCE MAN
How long do they live?
TRAINER
No one knows.
MAINTENANCE MAN
A long time?
TRAINER
A Long long.
Long.
Time.
Longer than we know.
MAINTENANCE MAN
He has time then.
TRAINER
Time?
MAINTENANCE MAN
Time to wait.
TRAINER
I guess he does.
Well -
Something swims back and forth in the pool.
It is not a whale.
They both start.
MAINTENANCE MAN
Jesus.
TRAINER
There.
MAINTENANCE MAN
That how it happens every morning?
TRAINER
Pretty much.
He likes to surprise me.
MAINTENANCE MAN
I wouldn’t get in the water with that.
TRAINER
Sometimes I have to.
MAINTENANCE MAN
How is that?
TRAINER
(shrugs.)
MAINTENANCE MAN
Good luck, then. I better get on with my day.
TRAINER
Me too.
(She holds out a fish over the water, reaching out a little too far. Sing-song and nervous:)
Here you go, Mamoot.
Mamoot.
Mamoot.
The thing swims. She holds the fish. The Man does not go.
Lights fade.
END OF PLAY.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
April 13 Play: CROQUET
X: CROQUET - by Ed Valentine
© April 13, 2010 * ed@edvalentine.com
LIGHTS UP: Three people buried in earth up to their necks: ANNA, BELGIUM, and CYRIA.
ANNA: Seems to me that we're in fine fettle.
BELGIUM: Fine what?
ANNA: Fine fettle.
CYRIA: What is 'fettle?'
ANNA: Damned if I know.
CYRIA: What is 'damned?'
BELGIUM: Quiet, Cyria! Don't ask silly questions. Everyone knows that Anna's the smartest one around.
CYRIA: Of who?
BELGIUM: Of all of us.
CYRIA: That's not saying much.
ANNA: I can hear you. I'm right here.
(Noises off.)
Quiet! Here they come!
(They stay comically still. Even their expressions freeze. The DUKE and DUCHESS OF WINDSOR walk past them, playing croquet.)
DUCHESS OF WINDSOR: FORE!
(With the croquet mallet, she hits Cyria in the head. DUCHESS doesn't notice.)
Oh.
DUKE: Yes, peachy?
DUCHESS: I missed the gate. Missed the gate entirely.
(They stand as in the Avedon photo.)
DUKE: But peachy: there shall be another one!
DUCHESS: Do you think?
DUKE: Always and always. Forever and ever.
DUCHESS: I knew there was a reason. A reason why I loved you!
(The rub noses. Gross. Then exit humming.)
CYRIA: Ow.
ANNA: Quiet. We should accept our lot. Don't you think, Belgium?
BELGIUM: Oh yes. Yes I do. We should just be quiet and accept.
CYRIA: Huh.
-
Says you. 'Smartest one of us all.' Huh.
ANNA: I can hear you.
CYRIA: Good.
LIGHTS OUT. END OF PLAY.
© April 13, 2010 * ed@edvalentine.com
LIGHTS UP: Three people buried in earth up to their necks: ANNA, BELGIUM, and CYRIA.
ANNA: Seems to me that we're in fine fettle.
BELGIUM: Fine what?
ANNA: Fine fettle.
CYRIA: What is 'fettle?'
ANNA: Damned if I know.
CYRIA: What is 'damned?'
BELGIUM: Quiet, Cyria! Don't ask silly questions. Everyone knows that Anna's the smartest one around.
CYRIA: Of who?
BELGIUM: Of all of us.
CYRIA: That's not saying much.
ANNA: I can hear you. I'm right here.
(Noises off.)
Quiet! Here they come!
(They stay comically still. Even their expressions freeze. The DUKE and DUCHESS OF WINDSOR walk past them, playing croquet.)
DUCHESS OF WINDSOR: FORE!
(With the croquet mallet, she hits Cyria in the head. DUCHESS doesn't notice.)
Oh.
DUKE: Yes, peachy?
DUCHESS: I missed the gate. Missed the gate entirely.
(They stand as in the Avedon photo.)
DUKE: But peachy: there shall be another one!
DUCHESS: Do you think?
DUKE: Always and always. Forever and ever.
DUCHESS: I knew there was a reason. A reason why I loved you!
(The rub noses. Gross. Then exit humming.)
CYRIA: Ow.
ANNA: Quiet. We should accept our lot. Don't you think, Belgium?
BELGIUM: Oh yes. Yes I do. We should just be quiet and accept.
CYRIA: Huh.
-
Says you. 'Smartest one of us all.' Huh.
ANNA: I can hear you.
CYRIA: Good.
LIGHTS OUT. END OF PLAY.
April 12 Play: COW
X: COW - by Ed Valentine
© April 12, 2010 * ed@edvalentine.com
Lights up: Two MEN near a cow. They have a pail. They look dubious.
BUB: You milk it.
BOYCE: You first.
BUB: I did it yesterday.
BOYCE: Still.
BUB: You got nothing better than that, do you?
BOYCE: (Thinks for a moment.)
Naw.
BUB: Then hop to it. Take the pail.
BOYCE: I still don't see why...
BUB: Just do it.
BOYCE: Ok, then.
BUB: Go on.
(BOYCE touches the cow. It cries, in a human voice.)
COW: Mama! Maaamaaa!
BOYCE: I hate when she does that. Boy, do I hate it.
BUB: We need to get a better cow.
BOYCE: Do we ever. Do we ever.
(The cow keeps crying. Lights out.)
END OF PLAY.
© April 12, 2010 * ed@edvalentine.com
Lights up: Two MEN near a cow. They have a pail. They look dubious.
BUB: You milk it.
BOYCE: You first.
BUB: I did it yesterday.
BOYCE: Still.
BUB: You got nothing better than that, do you?
BOYCE: (Thinks for a moment.)
Naw.
BUB: Then hop to it. Take the pail.
BOYCE: I still don't see why...
BUB: Just do it.
BOYCE: Ok, then.
BUB: Go on.
(BOYCE touches the cow. It cries, in a human voice.)
COW: Mama! Maaamaaa!
BOYCE: I hate when she does that. Boy, do I hate it.
BUB: We need to get a better cow.
BOYCE: Do we ever. Do we ever.
(The cow keeps crying. Lights out.)
END OF PLAY.
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